Here's the thing. Clearly, this blog is not a priority for me any more. And, that makes me feel guilty on a regular basis. And like a failure. Because, honestly, it makes me feel like I'm failing as a mom. That sounds extreme, but I started this blog as a journal/baby book/record of Kalaya and now Jakiah's lives and I have missed so much of recording their lives lately that when I see this and think about how long it's been since I actually did update....mommy guilt.
Ug. Mommy guilt.
Every. Single. Day.
I need to clean the bathroom. I don't read to Jakiah enough. I need to spend more time just playing with Kalaya. Ug, I need to make some Christmas presents. Why haven't I planned out more meals ahead of time? I haven't touched my new sewing machine yet. UG, I haven't worked out in weeks. I need to take more pictures. I forgot to write down when tooth #2 came in! Ug, she's watched too much TV today. HOW DID THE BABY GET A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE?? This house is a mess. We need to get outside while the sun is shining. I need to just sit and color with her. Why doesn't he sleep longer, what am I doing wrong?? Crap, that wasn't organic. Which reminds me, it's 3pm and I haven't eaten all day. I need to schedule a dentist appointment. We're out of milk! What is that smell? I need to call her back. Did I pay that bill? Kalaya, stop playing in the toilet! How long has it been since I washed the sheets?? Savor every moment. SAVOR EVERY MOMENT!!! What is in the baby's mouth? The dog hasn't been walked in a year. Did I finish the Christmas shopping? I need to be thankful, think of those moms who don't have happy, healthy babies, I'm so lucky.... Why is he crying this time?? I need to mail my Christmas cards. Oops, gotta switch the laundry or it will start to smell. I just spent $100 at the grocery store, why isn't there anything to eat?? I need to order Jakiah's baptism gown. Savor the moment. I overreacted when she took his toy, I shouldn't have yelled like that. Jakiah's baby book only has 2 pages filled out! (that one resulted in Mommy melt down....) I should work out, but I'll blog instead....
....and this is all day, every day and within a span of about 2 minutes, no exaggeration. (and yes, all of those things have happened. In the last week.)
It's worth it though.
Right?
Of course. And, we need to give ourselves a break. But, we don't. And, we won't. And, some how, in the end it goes by so fast and the kids are awesome and we don't know how it all happens or gets done, but it does.
Did I mention savor every moment?
Screw that. Season 7 of How I Met Your Mother is on Netflix. Break into the Christmas goodies that were supposed to be presents for friends and family and savor THAT moment. ; )
4 comments:
Story of my life! Ha! I think that's just the way it goes at this stage in life! Believe me, you aren't the only one feeling like this! :)
I never wrote down any of the dates that Emma did anything for the first time and I didn't even bother buying baby books for the twins. I honestly do not feel guilty at all. It is so small in the big picture of their lives. I know that they will look back on their childhood and they will be happy memories. I honestly believe that most mom's today put a lot of emphasis on things that are truly not important. I'm guilty of it also. I've let go of a lot of things though and I don't think that I'm a bad Mom for it.
Hopefully you didn't get offended my previous comment. I was not implying that I find things that are important to you to be stupid. Whenever I start to feel guilty about something, I remind myself to think about the big picture of raising kind, productive, Christian citizens and I realize that I'm worrying about something fairly silly.
You know I love you!!
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