4 Months

As we approach the 4 month (on Friday) mark for Jakiah, I have to sit back and catch my breath. Yes, I can certainly insert thousands of cliches right here about how time is flying, how much faster it goes with 2 kids, I can't believe it, blah, blah, blah.

But, really, hasn't he always been in my life?

How did I got 29 years without this sweet, perfect, lovable baby boy who has stolen my heart forever?

I love Kalaya so much. She is my first baby, who will always have that special, special place in my heart. I was so worried that I could never possibly love another child as much as I love her. I was a teeny bit disappointed when I found out I was having a boy, because I loved having a little girl so much!!

And then, all of a sudden, this little boy was in my life. And I fell head. over. heels. in. LOVE. Seriously, it is a whole different type of love. My priest (who is a woman with a son of her own) used to say to me, "There's something about a relationship between a mother and a son...." And I get it now. Completely.

Of course, I love my kids equally. They are both my world, my everything, my reason for being.

But, I don't love them the same way. Not even close.

There's something about having a tiny little man look at you in awe and worship that is so wonderful. Right now, I am the center of his world, his main source of comfort, of food, of safety, of happiness. It's so humbling and so special. (can you tell how much I ADORE having babies???) He has me wrapped completely around his finger and I am starting to understand Nelson with his daughter a little more. There's just something about it...

Jakiah is growing so much! He's comfortably fitting in 6 month clothes and I don't know how much longer that will last. He's up to a size 2 disposable at night and we've adjusted the cloth diapers up a size. We snuck him on the baby scale at Kalaya's 3 year appointment and he was 14 pounds! (fully dressed) And that was a couple of weeks ago. He goes in for his 4 month appointment on Wednesday.

He is such a sweet, happy, content little boy. He is so full of smiles!!! He smiles at everyone, everywhere. It is such a huge grin that fills up his whole face and it is so stinkin' adorable. When he is fussy, it's pretty easy to narrow down the problem and he is content pretty quickly. And, if nothing else is working, a quick swaddle and nurse and he puts himself down for a nap, which is unbelievable to me!! He takes 1 1/2- 2 hour naps on his own almost every day!!

I'll interrupt myself and explain this. I hate comparing my kids, but really, we all do it. Kalaya was a very, very, VERY fussy baby. She had to be carried and/or nursed almost all the time and it took her a loooong time to figure out how to go to sleep on her own. I tried all those magic books, tricks, advice and wore myself sick trying to believe it was me who was doing something 'wrong'. I thought it was my fault, but really, Kalaya needed help learning how to sleep. (and yes, I got desperate enough to try crying it out and NO, it didn't work at our house)

Now with Jakiah, I can put him down awake (though drowsy) and he FALLS ASLEEP ON HIS OWN. That NEVER happened with Kalaya. EVER. I literally still check to make sure he is breathing during naps, because I'm so not used to it! We're still working on nighttime, but I really do feel that a lot of nights, I'm getting 'enough' sleep. At least enough to function more or less. Thank goodness there is no dress or cleanliness code for being a stay at home mom.....

Jakiah is so alert and interested in everything now! He's starting to reach for and hold on to toys for brief periods of time. He has started playing on our baby gym and enjoys looking and grabbing the toys, though I think it's often a coincidence when he actually succeeds in grabbing a toy. He LOVES watching his big sister play and is just fascinated by her. His face lights up whenever she comes up to him (which is ALL the time) and he loves her so much.

I'm pretty sure teething has started. Those fingers are ALWAYS in his mouth, gumming, gumming, and the DROOL! Bibs are a must have these days. And, if I put my finger in there, CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!! Kalaya started teething around now, but I could nap with her during the day when I was a pacifier at night....this too shall pass.

He is such a talker already! I love his sweet baby coos and babbles. I remember being so excited for Kalaya to learn her first words, but I kinda wish I could keep this little guy speaking baby talk forever. I just love when he stops nursing, grins a big grin (with milk dripping down his chin), and says, "Ahhhh.....murmble, Mmmmm" and then nuzzles into my shoulder or starts nursing again. Pure paradise!

Seriously, look how in love with me he is! : )