16 Months

Dear Kalaya,

Slow down!! You're changing and growing so much every day, it's getting hard to keep up! You are amazing. I am stunned by the things you do every day. We try so hard not to call you "smart", since we don't want that to be based on accomplishments. (we think it's much more important that you try your hardest and do your best!) But it's hard not to tell you, because it's hard to find another word!!! I'll just say that your mind must be on warp speed as you learn and try so many new things!



You are such an easy-going toddler. You do such a good job of entertaining yourself and playing. You are learning so much through your play times. You also are able to amuse yourself with almost anything. It makes Daddy and I laugh at the end of every day to see all the things you've tracked all over the house from spoons to your shoes, books to Mommy's (clean!) underwear from the laundry basket. You are so curious and interested in the world around you. You love to ask, "What's that?!" and point at new and interesting things.



You are doing so well learning how to play with others. You're learning to share and how to let others have a turn. Some times this frustrates you, but you're trying! It's so fun to have play dates with your friends and to go to our Mommy group activities, because I know that you make good choices and behave with other kids.

You are such a sweet heart and so full of affection!! You love to give everyone special to you hugs and kisses. You wave at everyone in stores and blow kisses all the time. You even kiss our phones if someone who loves you wants to talk to you. You are friendly, easy going and kind to others.

It's so neat to see you walking every where and to hear you talking! You now say: bye bye, night night, da da, mama, dog, bath, what's that?, car and neh neh (for nurse). You are still signing so much; we almost always know how to meet your needs. You love getting a chance to walk around any where we go, although you are so curious, we are practicing not touching everything without permission : ) You are also learning how to handle frustrations, by taking time outs and quiet times when you need to. You learn quickly and respond so well, which always has positive results for you!



I love being your Mommy more than anything in the world. I love watching you grow into a toddler and toward being a little girl. I'm so glad you still love to nurse so that I still get some good cuddle time with you and so that you still feel like a baby some times. I LOVE YOU!!!

As the New School Year Approaches....

One of the most common questions I get once people hear that I am a stay at home mom is, "Do you miss teaching?" It's a question that gets me thinking.

I always feel like I have to give some kind of answer that lets people think, yes, I do miss it. But, the truth is, I am so happy being home with my daughter, I really don't even think about teaching much any more. If I start thinking about being back in the classroom, I think a little bit about the cute kids, the excited learners, the projects, reading, writing, classrooms, all the fun parts of being an early elementary teacher. And I start to think, yeah, maybe I do miss it.

Then I remember the reality of being a teacher.

I remember the lack of early intervention, the long, unrewarded hours, the expectation that teachers will go way above and beyond with out any compensation, report cards, conferences, lack of parent involvement, too MUCH parent involvement, out of control, disrespectful kids, too many kids in one classroom, no assistants, feeling BEYOND exhaustion, other teachers who shouldn't be teaching, challenging administrators, not enough planning time, and oh so many other aspects of teaching.

And then, come home and be a mom, cook, clean, and try to do all this with a partner who has also worked a full day???? And only get a couple of hours per day with my child where they're not in child care or sleeping???

Thanks, I'll stick with having my dream job for now.

I am totally amazed by the mothers and fathers out there who work full time. I don't know how you do it. A few weeks ago, the lady that we nanny for needed us 5 days a week, for 2 weeks. (usually we only have him 3 mornings a week. She recently realized that she too can't work full time every day away from her baby. Now we only have him one morning per week) As the days went by, I realized Nelson and I were arguing more and more. We hardly ever fight or argue, especially since Kalaya was born. I realized I was tired and cranky from working all day and so was he. As soon as I went back to part time, things calmed down. The house was cleaner, we were eating better, I wasn't as tired and everything went smoother.

Sometimes I feel an obligation to go back to a teaching position. I feel that it isn't fair to Nelson to have to work full time to make the bulk of our income. But I would really only be doing it for the money. And that isn't a good enough reason.

Oh sure, we wouldn't have to pinch pennies as much. I could think about things like owning a second car, putting more money is savings, making more than just barely over breaking even every month, start thinking more about buying a house, pay more on Nelson's student loans every month....

But you know what? I don't think I'll EVER look back at this time in our lives and think, "Life would have been so much better those years when our kids were young, if we'd had more money." I do know that I'd look back at these years and think, "I wish I could get that time back that I missed with my babies."

Plus, so much of the extra income would go right back to paying for childcare. And, especially when more kids come along, that's REALLY not worth it.

So, no. I guess I don't miss teaching. Even though I did like it.

And to answer the next question I always get: I may go back after our youngest is in elementary school. But even then, half time at the most. I probably won't be interested in full time teaching again until all my babies have left the nest. There's too much to do before that!

Homemade Baby Food

When I was about to introduce solids to our daughter, I said that I would make my own. I had books on how to do it and I had friends (including moms with full-time jobs, love you Jenn!) who made it work. It seemed pretty easy. I didn't say my child would ONLY have homemade, because I knew I'd have to use jars occasionally when traveling.

Fast forward to 15 months later and I'm trying to get back in the swing. I had a baby who preferred nursing to solid foods and would often eat less than half a food cube (ice cube shaped portion of food, more about that later) in one sitting. Food was sitting in our fridge and freezer spoiling, because Kalaya wouldn't eat enough. Plus, she'd eat the jarred stuff much better. It almost hurt my feelings that she preferred the jars, I was making her food with so much love! : ) But, I knew that the jars had healthy things that were organic. I decided I'd rather have a child eating than not. It really didn't matter though; she really has only started eating regularly in the last couple of months. I could have easily gotten away with nursing her only the first year, with no solids. (and, the advice so many people are willing to give about sleeping long/through the night after introducing solids?? Not with this kid.)

My wonderful friend (since we were 7!) Laura recently blogged about making her own baby food. She is a stay-at-home-mom as well, but she has a toddler and an infant. (though it sounds like her six month old eats more than my 15 month old!!) And she's making her own. I felt like I had no excuse. I decided to start up again.

I have book Blender Baby Food which is just perfect, I love it!! I've also read Baby Super Food and The Nutrition Book, which are both great also. I've made several batches of recipes from Blender and put froze them in ice cube or muffin trays. Then I put the frozen cubes in tupperware or baggies in the freezer. I modify them a bit, so that they're thicker and chunkier, since Kalaya is a big older than what the recipes are designed for. It's like having go-to ready meals!! Here are the recipes I made this week (all organic ingredients) Add water or stock to thin out. Or breast milk or formula:

Summer Savory (6 months and up, according to the book)

1 tbsp veg oil, 1/2 cup of leeks (white and light green parts), 1 cup diced peeled potatoes, 1/2 cup frozen corn (I used diced carrots instead, didn't have corn), 1/2 cup diced tomatoes (I used canned organic, had some leftover), 1/2 cup low-sodium veg stock (Trader Joe's), 1 tbsp parsley

Saute leeks in oil about 5 min until tender, add potatoes, tomatoes & carrots (corn) and saute until potatoes are golden, about 5 min. Add stock, reduce heat to medium. Cover and simmer about 15 min until potatoes are tender. Stir in parsley. Let Cool. Blend until desired consistency.

Quick and Easy Quinoa (this is great for mixing in with veggie and other food cubes)
7 months and up

1 cup quinoa, 2 cups veg stock, 1/4 cup grated parmesan.

Toast dry quinoa in skillet over med heat until golden, about 3 min. Add stock, bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 12-15 min, until liquid is absorbed. Let cool, add cheese and blend.

Lemon Chickpeas with Carrots and Celery (8 months and up)

1 cup dried chickpeas (garbanzo beans), 2 cups water, 1 tsp veg oil, 1/4 cup diced onion (I used leeks, since I had some leftover), 1/4 cup diced celery, 1/4 cup diced peeled carrot, 1 cup veg stock, 1 bay leaf, 1 lbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice, 1 tbsp parsley.

Soak chickpeas in water overnight. Heat oil in saucepan, saute onion, celery, carrot until tender about 5 min. Add stock, chickpeas and bay leaf; bring to boil. Cover, reduce hear and simmer until chickpeas are tender, about 45 min. Let cool. Blend with lemon juice and parsley.

Spinach, Salmon and Rice (8 months and up)

2 tsp EVOO, 1/4 cup chopped onion, 1/2 cup rice (I used brown) 1 cup water, 1 cup chopped fresh spinach or other green, such as blanched kale or chard. (I used baby spinach) 4 oz skinless salmon fillet, double check for bones!!!, 1 tsp lemon juice

Saute onion in oil over med heat about 3 min. Add rice, stir until coated with oil. Stir in water and bring to boil. Cover, reduce heat and simmer until water is mostly absorbed and rice is slightly tender. This will vary, based on type of rice. Takes much longer with brown than white. Place spinach and salmon on top of rice; cover and cook until spinach is wilted and salmon flakes easily with a fork, about 10 min. Let sit, covered for 10 min. Add lemon juice and blend. WARNING: store this separately from other foods, unless you want a fishy smell on other foods.

Chicken with Celery (can sub other veggie) (8 months and up)

6 oz boneless skinless breast diced (fresh only, don't thaw and re-freeze meat), 1 cup chopped celery, 1 cup low sodium chicken stock

Combine all in saucepan, bring to simmer over medium heat. Cover and simmer until veg is tender and chicken is no longer pink, about 15 min. Let cool and blend.

Chicken Stew (8 months)

1 tbsp veg oil, 6 oz chick (see above) diced, 1/2 cup diced peeled carrot, 1/4 cup onion (leek), 1/4 cup diced celery, 1 small potato cubed, 1 cup chicken stock, 1 tbsp parsley

Brown chicken in oil over med high heat. Add carrot, onion, celery, saute another 5 min. Stir in potato and stock, bring to a boil. Return chicken to pan. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer until potatoes are tender about 20 min. Stir in parsley. Let cool. Blend.

Spinach Surprise (9 months)

1 tbsp EVOO, 1/4 cup minced onion, 1 package (10 oz) fresh spinach, stems removed, 1/2 cup half & half, 1/4 cup parmesan

Saute onion in oil about 5 min. Add spinach and cream. Cover and cook until spinach is wilted, about 3 min. Remove heat and let cool slightly. Add cheese and blend.

Broccoli and Cauliflower Gratin (9 months)

1 cup broccoli florets, 1 cup cauliflower florets, 1 cup veg stock, 1/2 cup shredded cheddar

Combine veggies and stock in saucepan and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, simmer for about 15 min. Let cool. Add cheese and blend.

Tomato, Cauliflower and Cheese (9 months)

2 tsp EVOO, 1/4 cup chopped onion, 1 cup cauliflower florets, 1/2 cup canned diced tomatoes in juice, 1/4 cup shredder cheddar cheese

Saute onion in skillet with oil, about 5 min. Add cauliflower and tomatoes with juice. Cover, reduce heat, simmer about 10 min. Let cool. Add cheese and blend.

No name, I just made it up! (don't know what age....sorry!)

2 sliced zucchini, 2 tsp EVOO, 1/4 cup parmesan

Saute zucchini in oil over med heat until tender 5-10 min. Drain on paper towel. Let cool. Add cheese and blend.

*******

I'm going to make more with fruit soon. I add ready made baby cereal (oatmeal or mixed grains) if I want it to be thicker. Laura directed me to this site too, that I'll try soon!

15 Months

Well, things around here are busy, busy, at least for Miss Kalaya! She is growing and changing so much every day, I can't keep up with everything! This last month has been full of so many new things, it is so exciting to watch her!

Kalaya is walking, walking, walking! She basically just got up about 2 weeks ago and walked back and forth across the room all day and hasn't stopped. She definitely could have done it much sooner, she just lacked confidence. She is go, go, go! It's super cute, we love watching her waddle everywhere, toes turned out, knees locked. She gets going really fast, falls over, and gets right back up again. She seems so unsteady, but she doesn't fall as much as it seems like she should. She explores all over the house and any where else we go.

It's crazy how much her play time has changed. She is so independent at playing, as she always has been, but even more so now. Our house is pretty much completely Kalaya-proof (not necessarily any baby proof, she knows what she is and isn't supposed to get into), so she likes to explore and experiment where ever she goes. She has some drawers in the kitchen to play in, which she LOVES and empties several times a day. She has lots of toys, though she doesn't play with a lot of them as much. She looooooves books. She sits and reads quietly to herself several times a day, which just tickles me to death. She is starting to play pretend, which is adorable. She hugs and kisses her babies and animals, puts them on blankets, while saying "night night!", pushes them in the stroller, carries around bowls and spoons to "feed" herself, pushes trucks around and has a noise that goes with them, pretends to brush her hair, put on lotion, carries a purse around, plays dress-up with animal ears, jewelry, hats and shoes; it's so fun!

Her eating habits have gotten much more diverse. (on most days) She will finally eat a lot of different foods. She also seems to want to eat more in one sitting. We used to throw out a lot of food, because she wouldn't eat it!! It was awful, I hated the waste! Now that she's eating bigger meals, I've gone back to making meals for her (kind of baby food and baby food upgrades), freezing a bunch and having them ready. I like that she's being exposed to so many tastes and foods, which you certainly can't get in baby food jars! I made some with broccoli, cauliflower, salmon, quinoa, and avocado, just to name a few. I haven't seen those pre-made! Part of the reason she may be eating better now is that 2 more molars came in, so maybe teething will slow down a bit. She's up to 12 teeth!

She says 2 words clearly now (bye bye and night night) and has several more that are very close. (do for dog, da for daddy, nnnuh for nurse or sometimes no, etc.) She signs a LOT, which is so helpful, I am so, so glad we decided to sign with her! If for no other reason, it avoids meltdowns, because she has figured out that crying will not get her what she wants/needs. If she starts to fuss, whine, beg, etc, we say, "Use your words please!" and she signs for what she needs. This includes: want please, all done, more, help, eat/food, nurse, dad, mom, sorry and we see a LOT of dogs and birds when we're out and about! : )

One thing that has been happening at our house occasionally, it time out. With this new freedom of walking, of course, comes independence. It maybe happens once a day, if that. It's only if she's doing something unsafe, after a warning, or if she refuses to do something deliberately. (usually when she has something she's not supposed to and won't give it to the person requesting it) She gets a warning and she KNOWS what "time-out" means. A lot of the time, simply saying, "Do you need a time out for not listening?" is plenty and the behavior stops. (this is after we've asked her to stop repetedly and tried distraction too, unless it's something extreme or dangerous) If she refuses to cooperate, we have a spot in the family room that we put her in until she calms down (since it's usually not accepted well) or 1 minute, whichever is second. She then has to say (sign) "sorry" and give hugs and kisses, which she always does and 9 1/2 times out of 10, the behavior disappears! It's been working great. I'm amazed that parents think that their 3 or 4 year old "won't understand" time out. The first couple of times she tried to get away, but now she understand that she stays there until we say she can get up.

Yesterday something AMAZING happened. My mom and I were out shopping and I found a potty for her that was dirt cheap on sale that can either sit on the ground, convert to a seat to put on the big toilet, or a stool for after they're trained. I bought it and set it up in the bathroom, just to get it out of the box. We told Kalaya what it was and didn't think anything of it. A little while later, while starting to talk about bath time, she started undoing her diaper. I asked, "Do you want to sit on the potty?" She knew exactly what we meant and walked into the bathroom. I helped her sit on it and gave her some water to drink. I had a book we looked at and less than 3 minutes later, there was pee pee in the potty!!! We couldn't believe it! And, she did it again today! I had NO intention of starting potty training this early, but who knows??? I have read that cloth diaper babies can learn earlier, but this seems REALLY early. We're going to leave it in the bathroom and any time she shows interest, we'll let her sit on it. We'll also offer in the morning, after naps and just before bath. No rush, of course, but why the heck not???

We've been pretty busy this summer on the weekends. We've attended some weddings and we went to Nelson's 10 year reunion. (eek, that means mine is only a year away!!) This was a step for us as parents, because we left Kalaya with 2 friends of ours, which we've never done before. She has always only been left with one or the other of us. She has stayed with my parents twice, less than 30 minutes each time. She did fine, we did fine. I'm glad we waited as long as we did. It's funny, when I posted on Facebook that we were leaving her for the first time at 14 months, people acted like we were nuts for waiting so long. And they acted like leaving your child is such a huge break and so relaxing! I don't know, it was fine, but I didn't think, OMG, why did we wait so long?? Nelson and I are both in total agreement that we will have YEARS to be just the two of us. We like being with our baby! Maybe when we have more it will be different, but she's nice to have around. : )

We have been doing some sleep training at our house. As parents, we agree that learning to sleep should be like any other part of growing up: solid foods, weaning, potty training, etc. We think that when our children are ready, they'll take the next step. We don't believe in forcing them aka, for sleep training, we don't leave them alone in a room to cry themselves to exhaustion. We know many people swear by it, but we're choosing otherwise. Since we c0-sleep, Kalaya still had been waking up once a night to nurse, which was fine. Then, she started waking up much more often, for several nights in a row. I was beyond exhaustion, so we tried an experiment. Since Nelson usually sleeps in his own room and I sleep with her, we decided to switch. Because Kalaya hasn't HAD to be nursed to sleep in several weeks, I felt confident that she is able to fall asleep on her own. So, Nelson sleeps with her and I sleep in the next room. It has been working! Kalaya stays asleep most of the night between 8pm and 6am. However, a LOT of people told us that once she wasn't getting to nurse at that 3am feeding, she would stay asleep and sleep all night. WRONG! It's been 3 weeks and that hasn't changed. But, she does go right back to sleep pretty quickly most nights. And, when she wakes up at 6, I go in to nurse her and she usually goes back to sleep until 9 or even 10am. The funny thing is, I don't feel like I'm getting THAT much more sleep. I sleep for longer stretches, which is great, but during the day, I don't feel any more rested than when I used to nurse her once a night. I knew I was getting enough sleep from co-sleeping. : )

Nursing

Kalaya is approaching 15 months. In the United States, there seems to be a common trend that babies are started to or have long since been weaned from the breast at this point. There seems to be more of a taboo after a baby turns one, especially once they can ask for it. Kalaya doesn't ask with words yet, but she definitely sign for it, pulls at my shirt or just tries to help herself if I'm in the shower or my breasts are easily accessible. I don't know who coined the phrase, "If they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old to have it!", but I truly think it's terrible. (I know I heard it on an episode of Sex and the City, but it may have been around before then)

I always said that I was going to nurse my babies as long as they wanted. Let me rephrase. I wasn't saying that 5 years ago. Once I started seriously thinking about pregnancy and became pregnant, I did a LOT of reading about nursing. I had never given toddler nursing a second thought. Truthfully, I hadn't thought about how long a baby should nurse. I knew that my mother breastfed both my brother and I, but I didn't know much more. After talking with her, I discovered that she nursed us until around 6 months, which was when we both had top and bottom teeth. (understandable) She also told me that we refused to take a bottle (she also was a stay-at-home-mom and didn't have to force it) and she wanted the freedom to leave once in awhile. (also understandable)

I read different types of baby books. All of them agree that breast milk is best for babies. I knew that much. I obviously wanted my baby to benefit nutritionally from my milk. But, I learned a lot about how important the physical bonding that takes place with nursing vs with a bottle. I started reading about long-term nursing, past a baby's first year. There are soooooo many benefits, I cannot even begin to list them all. Here are a few. And a few more. And, our society is the weird one for not encouraging this and accepting it as the norm. In many, many other countries, children nurse until they are 3, 4 or even 5 years old. I've read that 5 is the average weaning age world-wide. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at LEAST a year or for "as long as mutually agreeable." The international association of pediatrics says at least 2. (please don't ask me to site this :) ) The point is, I decided long before Kalaya was born that I would breast feed as long as she wanted to and as long as my body was cooperating.

Kalaya has always, always been a strong nurser. And, luckily, I have been able to produce plenty of milk and haven't had any trouble nursing. I think I met with the lactation specialist once in the hospital, because I was a little sore, but after that, no trouble whatsoever. It's been interesting watching other moms of my generation with their new babies. We all approach nursing a bit differently. The interesting thing (to me) is that the focus in our society seems to be on just the milk itself. It's as though we're being taught that the most important thing is that your baby is getting the nutrients from the milk. Yes, that is of course important, but I don't think women are being educated enough about how important actual nursing is. Unfortunately, I think many women end up surprised when they stop producing milk when they're only pumping. Then, it's often to late to get your milk back and the only way to really get it to come back is to nurse and when a baby hasn't nursed in that long...you get the idea. There are also all those rumors flying around out there! This article addresses a LOT of them.

Another worry that seems to be around right now is that mothers are worried that they're not producing enough milk. Obviously there are cases where this is certainly true, but I don't know if it's as often as many are worried. Your breasts know your baby and will produce what they need; as long as you keep putting baby to breast! I know moms who started pumping to see how much they were producing. The funny thing is, I never really was able to successfully pump, but my baby never had trouble gaining weight. I fear that many mothers also start formula because they think it will fill their baby longer, giving them more sleep or other "free" time. Yes, formula takes longer to digest, but I felt that the health benefits far out weigh the sleep side. And it didn't last that long anyway. It's funny, we're so worried about getting our babies to sleep longer, sleep through the night, etc, yet at the same time, we keep saying how fast it's all going! Anyway, enough on that tangent...

I remember stressing about some aspects of nursing in the beginning. I remember reading The Baby Whisperer, where she explains that you should NEVER nurse/feed a baby to go to sleep, because they will never learn to sleep on their own. Really?? That's crazy!! Never mind, it's true, you do see a lot of students going off to college who are still nursing or taking a pacifier to go to sleep....anyway. I remember our first night in the hospital; I nursed her, was ready to get some sleep, so I passed her off to Nelson, still awake. I fell asleep for a while and then she started crying. He tried rocking her, singing, walking, etc and it wasn't working. He asked me if I wanted to nurse her and I actually quoted the baby whisperer!! That lasted maybe 5 minutes and then instinct kicked in. Baby crying = put to breast. It was that simple. From that minute on, I never looked back. I began to parent by instinct, forget the books. And, this was before I had ever even heard of attachment parenting. She nursed to sleep and slept in my bed, right next to me from that moment on. Luckily, I found some books to back up our methods and make me feel that we were actually doing the right thing for our child!! (see, those books again! I'm a teacher, what can I say??>)

Another stress I had was hearing other mothers worry about production. And hearing people say that I "had" to get my child to take a bottle and pacifier. (why the heck is that anyway??) So, we started trying to introduce the bottle. And the pacifier. There was no fooling this child. She kinda took the pacifier. But never the bottle. We tried all the "tricks", nothing worked. But you know what? I didn't try very long or very hard. It felt so much more natural to nurse and to heck with everything else.

I am not saying attachment parenting is for everyone. I'm not even saying breastfeeding is for everyone. Families have to do what works best for them! It may even change with future babies we have. Each child is different and you're a different parent with each child.

14 1/2 months later and Kalaya is still nursing strong. I can see why some women think about giving it up. I cannot imagine having to pump to keep my supply going, if I had to be away from my baby for work. God bless my wonderful husband for understanding why being at home with my child is so important. Exclusively breastfeeding was a huge factor in that. Power to those working moms out there who have to keep pumping to keep it up; you ROCK! Exclusively nursing, with the attachment parenting life style can be extremely draining. (no pun intended :) Kalaya does not sleep through the night very often. She usually wakes up around 3 or 4 am to nurse. I don't go around telling that to people, because there's this instant judgment that goes along with that. It's as though I'm a bad parent because our child doesn't sleep through the night yet. I just love when people offer their "helpful" advice of, "stop offering, she won't want it". I honestly don't mind it. Remember, she sleeps right next to me, so I barely have to wake up. And, when she wakes up at 6:30 like a lot of toddlers, she nurses and goes right back to sleep, some days until 9 or 10. I'm okay with that!! Again, families have to do what works with their lifestyles and this works for us. Most nights that is. Yes, there are times (like teething) where I get tired of being a pacifier. Yes, there are times when I think weaning would solve these problems. But the truth is, it may not. I have never once regretted my breast feeding decisions though.

To me, the benefits out weigh the challenges. I'll be fair and list some challenges or exclusively nursing first:

*You need to be available pretty much 24/7 for your baby, especially in the first 6 months (or whatever your family decides), when they're only getting breast milk.

*Even after introducing solids, your baby may prefer breast milk/nursing. Kalaya didn't start really taking to solid foods until about the last month or so. Yep, that's at 13 1/2 months. Obviously that isn't the case with many babies, but I thought I should mention it.

*If your baby is a light sleeper, has trouble falling asleep on their own, doesn't like the feeling of falling asleep or naturally wakes up during shifting sleep cycles, they may want to nurse at night to help them get back to sleep.

*For modest women, nursing in public is challenging. Luckily, there are lots of things to support this, especially living in the Northwest!

*They do get teeth. And they do bite. But, it doesn't last very long and you CAN get through it quickly!!

*If you are a working mom, you will have to pump to keep your supply going. I've heard this can be very challenging.

*Some women have pain and trouble with latch-on, sore nipples, bleeding, all those fun things.

*You have to think more about life style choices, such as drinking, medicines and what you eat. It all goes into your baby!

Alright, enough of that. Here are the benefits that, to us, out weigh those challenges:

*I can feed my child any time, any where. I never had to worry about packing bottles, formula, water, etc. I never had to worry about the temperature of the milk.

*Kalaya has only had 2 colds and 3 or 4 runny noses. That's it. No ear infections. NONE. She never got any other illnesses in her first year.

*When Kalaya was sick, she didn't want to eat any solid foods. Period. This lasted for over a week each time. Since she was still nursing, I knew she was getting nutrients. And breast milk is so gentle that you can even nurse when they're having tummy troubles.

*Breast milk is GREAT for clearing out a stuffy baby nose. And, nursing always some how cleared her nose up.

*Kalaya has very few temper tantrums. If she gets mad/sad/hurt as a toddler, nursing calms her and brings her back down. It works well as a form of time out.

*I can get Kalaya to nap any time she is tired. Some times it takes a bit, but if she's tired enough, she'll nurse and nap anywhere.

*Until very recently, Kalaya's poop hardly smelled at all. Breast milk poop has a much less offensive odor. (until solid foods...)

*Breast milk is water soluble, which made/makes cloth diapers very easy to wash. No soaking or dumping, just throw them in the wash!

*Nursing is so GREEN!

*Human breast milk is designed for human babies! It is perfectly balance for everything she could possibly need.

Okay, I seriously could go on forever. Two of my favorite sites about nursing are here and here. This definitely goes beyond the normal interest of nursing mothers for me. It's slowly becoming a passion. I could definitely see myself going through training to become a certified lactation specialist some day. Or a post-partum doula. Or working with La Leche League or something similar. I can't say enough. : ) Breastfeeding babies are the best!!!

Walking!

Miss Kalaya is walking! Slowly, but surely! And all over the house today!

A Few Recent Pics

Here are some pics from our trip to Wyoming, the 4th of July and around the house. My favorites are the ones where she's reading, which she constantly does! I love that I'm raising a reader. She will sit and look at books some days for 30-45 minutes; not bad for a 14 month old!!

Happy Four Year Anniversary!

After that previous post Nelson surprised me with, I don't know how I can ever top that! Instead, here are some things I love about my husband:

*His ability to make me laugh in any and all situations, even if I don't want to or even if it's an inappropriate time.

*His amazing abilities as a father. When we got married, I THOUGHT he'd be a great father (duh!), but I had no idea just how incredible he would be. He blows me away on a daily basis.

*The fact that he is willing to be the main income in our family so that I can be a stay-at-home-mom. I can never repay him for this and it has been the best gift I have ever received.

*His charming personality that wins over everyone and makes every girl under 22 fall in love with him. Seriously.

*The way he makes everyone feel loved, accepted and comfortable.

*The fact that we always have hundreds of things to say to each other and never get tired of talking, whether it is petty gossip or vital decisions about our future.

*He is my best friend. I never get sick of spending time together. I miss him when I'm away from him for more than 5 minutes and get excited every time I know I'm about to see him again.

*From day one of our relationship, I have 100% been myself. And he loves me! I never have to pretend with Nelson. I can always be totally honest.

*I already said what an amazing father he is to Kalaya, but he's also such a wonderful husband to Kalaya's mother (me), if that makes sense. He has been so supportive of every decision I have wanted to make as a mother, whether is was deciding to exclusively nurse or co-sleep. Never once has he tried to make me do something as a mother that I didn't agree with.

*His beautiful eyes. All of the most important moments in our life together; falling in love, his proposal, our wedding vows, when we discovered we were pregnant, when Kalaya was born and so many more, are connected to the love and care I see in Nelson's eyes.

*So many more, but the most important one is, of course, his amazing abilities as a lover. WHAT A MAN!! (He made me put that)

*No, really, the most important thing is probably the fact that this person has been introduced to the world:



Happy anniversary Nelson, and many more to come!!

On Our Anniversary

(Well, technically, this is eight days before our anniversary, but you know I'm terrible at waiting to give presents.)

How long have we known each other now, eight years?

I think we met on April 4^th, 2002. And I’m certain it was a Thursday. And I’m doubly certain it was between 3:00 and 4:00 pm. That attention to detail sounds more romantic than it is, since I would wager you remember the exact same things. Hopefully I’ll remember all of this on our 75^th anniversary too (which, by the way, would make me 99 and you 98, and since I’m planning on living to at least 118 so I can see the year 2100, it seems a good possibility to occur).

I told you I would marry you (or you would marry me, or both) that same day - that first day - which is weird because I don’t recall saying that to anyone before or since, especially when I didn’t know your middle name, or your shoe size, or your mom’s name, or if you were a dog person, or if you could recite the entire starting lineup for the 1995 World Series Champion Atlanta Braves.

What’s also strange is that you didn’t contradict my marriage request/demand, especially since you didn’t know about my chest hair, or my glasses prescription, or my irrational fear of slugs, or my dislike of talking on the phone, or if I knew all the words to “Jolly Holiday” from Mary Poppins.

I’m reasonably certain all you knew about me was from what you saw on the t.v. show (yikes), and all I knew about you was you dressed sensibly for the weather (orange-striped t-shirt and jean skirt that stopped just above your knees).

And that’s all it took, I think. Kind of annoying, right? Waiting for love and looking for love and hoping for love, and then all it takes is two hours with a stranger and you’re hooked for life. Thanks for making it so easy.

***

What isn’t easy is trying to remember a time before I loved you. Sometimes I’ll think about my freshman year of college and you’ll have infiltrated my memories and be eating breakfast with me on a Saturday morning at Valsetz, or helping me dye my hair orange, or making sure Brandon doesn’t drown in the shower. Sometimes I’ll think about high school, and there you are again, going with me to a dance, or watching Monday Night Raw (double yikes), or cheering me on from the bleachers as I’m freezing to death in the outfield in Sisters as it snows.

Remember that time in seventh grade when I fell out of the tree and almost landed on that pile of bricks? Remember when we were about 10 and went camping and saw a bear with Trevor and Zach? Remember when I was knocked unconscious after Adelino hit me in the head with a softball bat when we were five?

Of course, you couldn’t have been there, because you were in Plano, and Lake Oswego, and Newark, and Chico, and Portland. But it feels like you were there.

I think if we met today, or tomorrow, or yesterday, I would have no choice but to love you. Maybe we’d both be married (you to Matt Stornetta, and me to Natalie Portman), and maybe we’d both have kids (you would have Anne Elizabeth and Daniel James, and I would have Jackson Cloud and Bailey Gravedigger), and maybe you’d be an Officer’s wife, and I’d be an AmeriCorps representative, and maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike, and maybe…

You know this already, but I don’t necessarily believe in soul mates. I don’t think God is cruel enough to make only one person to perfectly match with one other person (although God also made a 20-foot, 2000-pound crocodile named Gustave who lives in both Burundi and children’s nightmares, so clearly God’s cruelty knows no bounds). But if, somehow, that turns out to be true, well, thanks again for making it so easy.

***

I still haven’t found an adequate way to tell you I love you, but here is another attempt.

Sometimes I’ll catch myself watching Kalaya without realizing it, when she’s playing or eating or sleeping or something. I’ll start thinking about how much I love her, and how beautiful she is, and how there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe and content.

Then I’ll think about how the whole process of parenting is about learning to let go of your children, because pretty soon she’ll be walking (which means walking away) and talking (which means talking back) and doing all these things to find her independence. And then I think about how I hope I’m good enough for her, and that I won’t be anything less than an amazing father, and that she’ll always know how much I love her.

Then I think about you, and it occurs to me that whatever happens in her life, she’ll be just fine, because she has you inside her. And that makes me think about how lucky someone will be to love her one day, just as I love you. And then I kiss her forehead, because it’s like kissing both of you.

Happy Fourth Anniversary, my love! I heart you!

WHEW!!

Holy smokes, we're already half way through July! We have been busy!! We had a family adventure that was amazing! Let's see, where to begin....

For those of you that don't know, I'm the youth minister at our church. Whether Nelson wanted to or not, he has become my partner and we are basically the youth team. Technically, the paycheck is in my name, but they're basically getting 2 of us for the price of 1. Plus, a cute mascot to boot, as we never are without Miss Kalaya, who our youth just adore : )

About 8 months ago, our youth group started brainstorming activities for this school year. The idea of doing a mission trip came up. Now, we are a VERY small church, with a small youth group. If we have 7 youth on a Sunday, that's a great day. We maybe have 150 members on a busy Sunday in church. But, we love it and we work with what we have!! Our youth wanted to do something big, such as going abroad for a mission. We looked into it and ruled that out pretty quickly. Too many things to worry about and too much money to raise, if we wanted to go on a trip this summer. We also knew that it wasn't likely that I would be taking the group, since there was no way I was going to leave Kalaya for a whole week. Nelson agreed to be the leader along with another woman from our church who helps with youth group a LOT.

We started working with an organization called Youth Works, which connects churches with mission sites around the US. We narrowed the possibilities down to a Native American reservation in Wyoming and another location in San Diego. Surprisingly, our kids voted for Wyoming (I thought they'd want to go to California!), mainly because of the dates we would be going,

We did a LOT of fundraising this year. Our little church just kept giving and giving! They bought insane amounts of baked goods, donated to various cook offs, gave any extra made at fundraisers for other groups and just wrote checks! They were awesome! At one point during the year, I mentioned to Nelson, "Wait a minute, Aunt Patti lives near a reservation in Wyoming, I wonder if it's the same on we're going to??" One quick phone call confirmed that it was and a couple of months later, she generously offered to fly Kalaya and I out for the week to be near the team and visit with her. WONDERFUL!!! It worked out perfectly.

We went last week. We sent the youth off Saturday (the 3rd) morning and then Kalaya and I flew out later that day. It was a bit of an adventure to fly with a 14 month old alone, especially with a 3 hour layover, but we did it! I packed bunch of never-before-seen toys and snacks and of course used the secret method of breastfeeding when all else failed. I am sooooo grateful we have not forced this child to wean, it has helped her sleep in the most convenient locations!!!

The week went so well. Nelson and the kids worked on the reservation during the day on various projects, while we spent time with my aunt. Then, in the evenings we met up for activities such as dinner, cultural activities, "club" time (worship and prayer) and team meetings. It worked out so amazingly, the people in charge were so understanding and supportive of us coming to visit and it was mainly in thanks to the charming Miss Kalaya, who absolutely loved all of the attention of everyone! She was giving high fives, fist bumps and huge grins and hugs all over the place! One very special even took place right in front of everyone; she took her first steps!!! It was such a special moment, the kids were so excited to be a part of it. : )